Gifts

Usefull materials (articles and links)

 

Downloads

 

GIFT: sample materials from the self-improvement book/card game
Dear Reader,
the GIFT I am giving to you is some parts of my book (and the game based on that), titled:
Practical applications of
the Laws of Your Inner Himalaya.

For years I have defined myself as a person climbing her own Inner Himalaya, exploring its Laws, that is, that system which aids her spiritual being towards integrity in this 3-dimensional world. When I use “Laws” I mean behavioral, reflective and functional orthodoxies, regularities which, taken into account, ease the walk on the path.
I also want to give you a kind of compass for your inner pilgrimage, as I feel that despite our best and cleanest intents we often get lost in the labyrinth of tangled skeins. You can find this compass in your answers to the questions below the Laws.

What made me write this book (and create this card game) was the experience I gained from my job as a personal development trainer and coach realizing all the time how much power is cumulated in the „different” types of questions and in that non-judgmental field which embraces this kind of communication.
For me a question is sometimes like a scalpel in the surgeon’s hand: one of the most basic tools to use for the festering sores in the urgent, critical processes; and sometimes like a gentle awakening to call you to be reborn and become a whole.
Today, when we re-define “knowledge” and the application of the “know-hows” – i.e. turning theories into practice – promises outstanding success, it is critical to invest into the development of our personality. So far we have made huge efforts to grasp the operations of the “outside world” and to utilize it for the convenience of humanity. On the face of it, isn’t that strange that we, people in general, have gained so little understanding of our own cognitive, emotional and spiritual processes which are the deeper driving forces of our everyday life?
 
1.        Do not settle for linear consequences. As we live in complex systems, things are interconnected and affect every other one in a million ways. Accept ambiguity and ambivalence.
 
We know that in living systems the various elements influence one another not in a linear way but they are interconnected. Why you shouted at your neighbour was not (only) because he was listening to loud music, but because you were upset, and because you got to the point: “that’s enough”, and because your wife urged you to do something and of course, because you happened to stay at home, and well, he was at home, and he happened to listen to music, too… The tiny elements fit together and as a whole it becomes similar to a delicately woven net. The points are not in isolation, cannot be “cut out” but closely related thus they affect, enhance, weaken or feed back on each other. The living systems are extremely sophisticated: sometimes they snap to a gentle touch, other times they stick together despite the intense push. At times professional eyes are needed to see through the system and to get significant intervention if we want changes. The more you accept that we often cannot see the forest for the wood, the more you will be careful so as not to make ill-considered decisions.
 
Think of a problem of yours…
What could be in the background of it?…
What else can belong to it?…
What are the points that have stayed hidden until now?…
What about those points that you think have nothing to do with it at all?…
What if still?…
Which are the points that make your problem bigger?…
… find things like this: “The more… the more…” or: “The more … the less…”
Which elements help to sustain your problem?…
Which are those that have a strong connection with each other?…
If you wanted to stop this problem, where would you intervene in the system?
If this leverage point (the main point in the system that has a very strong effect on the others) was removed, how would the situation be different?
 
 
2.        Do not succumb but fulfil: do not ebb away but overflow.
 
When Gandhi was thrown off the train, he could have walked away with hurt, cursing the whole system. Butinstead, what he did changed the whole, the life of great nations … Are you surrounded and blocked by barriers? Go and surge! Don’t fight, don’t kill but create! Create a system that is more complete! Look at those excuses that you have made, take them one by one, see how you shut yourself into a cage by using these excuses about your children, your mother, your debts and so on. Look at your cage: as its ceiling is small, it cripples you but it still gives you protection, doesn’t it? When you were a teenager these were the exact lies that made you run away but now you are in there. „Now there is no way out.” – you say. But there is one – when it is „enough”. When is it enough for you, what else should come for you to be able to start doing something else?
 
What do you tend to procrastinate?
What excuses do you make so that you can put off things?…
… and then who do you expect to do the same and be your accomplice?…
Is what you do or how you live good for your environment?…
What does freedom mean to you?…
In what way are you afraid of being free?…
Maybe it would come out that outside the cage you can only do the very same things what you do inside?…
… and aren’t you the prisoner of your own thoughts and beliefs… hallucinating the collapse of all the slavery systems… saying that it is your birthright to be absolutely free…?
What would the world be like in which God invites you to be the co-creator?
 
 
3.        Stretch in and out to reach more. Stretching out means daring to leave the area of you safe cage. Stretching inside is digging down to find the inner portrait of God.

Our routines and habits operate on the principle of “least effort” so they automatically ease our lives. Thank God, we do not drive the way we learnt: we don’t keep mumbling the formula for the next step. However, the comfort-zone is a barrier at the same time: if you stay inside you will never learn what is outside. If you never venture out of your well-known area, you might be told what it is like outside but until you have your own experience you cannot internalise it. If you always do what you have always done you will never get more… And it is true for your inner development as well: if you always ask the same questions it’s highly likely that you will get similar answers… It is in the nature of mankind to develop things, make them better and faster. It is true not only in technical terms, but we also have made a huge development in the field of inner development technologies, too. We have had a quantum leap towards learning about the work of our mind and the human psyche. However, I wonder if we use this knowledge at all, and if we do, whether we use it well.
 
What does security mean to you?…
How do you feel if you have to leave you home…, your living area…
… and if you have to stay in a new place?…
Who do you regard as “strangers”?…
What inside and outside borders do you have?…
What is the function of borders?
How do you protect your borders?…
Who can a “seventh room” come into you?…
What does intimacy mean to you?…
What does trust mean to you?
What do you find frightening?…
What would be your worst nightmare that could happen to you?…
What are your demons like whose faces you would never want to see?…
When do you feel at home?
 

4.               Be careful to have “the three wishes”. Recognise when you catch the Goldfish and when its question is activated.

What would you say if you were asked about your wishes when catching the gold fish? Do you remember the tale in which the poor man’s nose turned into a long sausage because suddenly he wished that?… Surprising as it might be but apart from winning the lottery most people do not have any wish, and if they do, it is solely something financial. According to the surveys, those who take their dreams so seriously that they write them down, even if they forget it somehow they can achieve them later. Why? Because their subconscious reminds them permanently, so in any given time they can spot the opportunities everywhere. Watching people around I am quite sure that everybody gets exactly the life they programmed into their mind. How come that hardly any of them live exactly that life they wish?  It’s due to the virus: self-sabotage, banned programmes, effectively torpedoing their goals.
 
I’ll give you now 1 million dollars if you can convince me right now about that you definitely need it. So, what will you do with that money?…
… How will you use this money?…
…What will you create with it?…
… What will the weight of the money mean to you?…
…What feeling can you attach to it?…
How do you feel when you ask for the charge of your work?
What do you think of rich people?…
What do you think of wealth?…
What is your family’s mantra about money?…
What kind of social relations tie with money?…
What do you think of well-paid professions?…
… or the underpaid jobs?…
If you could do something, what would social justice be like?…
 
 
5.               Live in integrity. Be independent of any addictions or -holics; do not depend on others’ behaviour or their emotions, nor on the tricks of their mind.

There is pain behind every kind of addiction. It stems from pain and it ends with pain. Rousing from coma is painful: because it calls you again and again to face something avoided, something unsolved. You can get the temporary euphoria at the price of this, whose lapse enhances the feeling of pain. Yet, what makes this whole euphoric state so attractive is that it reminds us of a kind of archaic pattern; that is, there existed an earthly paradise: tranquillity, abundance, inclusion, unity… What you look for can be found just on the spiritual homeward bound: go and find where the source of your longings spring from, sit down on its bank to watch the propelling force behind.
 
What are you addicted to?…
… what makes you imprisoned?…
… perhaps not the typical “classic” ones: alcohol…, nicotine, … spending money, … work, … internet, … cleaning… but the “insignificant” stuffs… which if not available, you have a short fuse…
…. maybe you cannot wait…
… you are too sensitive to certain voice tones…
… your behaviour is erratic and unpredictable even for yourself…
… you are captivated by comfort…
… or your thoughts pull you into a constant distracted escape…
Stop!… Face it!…
Cry and sob, take this pain, let it get through every cell of yours…
then let it leave…
once and for all!
 
6.               Examine what gives you identity.  Know what price you pay for maintaining that identity.
 
If you were deprived of everything, everything in every sense of the word, what would you own? If you could take off all those layers which hang on you, what would be there, what would that be like in the depth?… Image you wake up one day, and there are no social and cultural expectations, there are no family instructions, no boxes… You could find your deepest being in perfect integrity: the one who you are, who you have always been and will be… Maybe our mother was the only one that could look at us this way: she knew that we are loveable just because we exist. Maybe this unconditional love made our inner seed grow while our father’s expectations taught us how we can be loveable and accepted for the world, how to develop such layers with which we can make our way easier in this world.
 
What are your achievements…  successes…
What are your failures?…
Do you feel loveable?…
Apart from whatever you got from home, can you look at yourself in a non-judgemental way?…
When and how can you get contact easily with this inner source of yourself?…
What happens if you feel boundless happiness…
… or black despair…
… or exuberance?…
Remember a state – can be pleasant or unpleasant and step into that:
… see what you could see then,…
… hear what you could hear then,…
… feel what you could feel then…
… enhance… enhance this feeling…
… you can connect this consciously.
Now you decide what you want to do with it: keep it in your memory because it is so lovely or delete it from your memory because it is so bad. … Decide and do that!
 
 
7.        Do not support systems of temporary relief, which might cause dependence, but offer a paradigm-shift and let the others choose.

What is wrong with the money thrown to the beggar? The same as with the money lent to the gambler, the homework written instead of a child, the alms given to the hungry, the “life-lengthening” injection to the dying person. How noble they seem!… But can you see what the helping hand causes with this? Without doubt, that “treatment” brings a release from pain in that moment   – but what happens in the long run? It will stabilize the system permanently, from which there is only narrow escape, as the given person is stuck in that role… What could you do in cases like these? Just stand and watch to see how the system works: what sustains it and what notions and value-systems feed that. See how it meets the needs of the participants in the interactions: a beggar might need money and pity, and the givers might want to feel generous. What different paradigms, strategies could you use instead of this that gives a more effective intervention?
 
Whose support do you rely on?…
What do you want to get through this?…
… maybe more attention, understanding, and care?…
Perhaps is it true that those who turn to me would like to get the same as I want to get from the others?…
Now write down: whom do you typically give to?… and what? (e.g. money to the beggar, listening to the neighbour, flowers to your kid’s teacher, smile to a loved one, wine to a friend…)
… if you are ready, find out what that person would really need…
… how could you better satisfy that need?… what else could you give instead? …
Go, and try your answers out! Step out of the routines which make you think: “I can do it just like that, there is no other way…” … Get experience by action!
 
 
8.        Realise that everything you can sense contains only fragments of information, just like a photo. You can see only the tip of the iceberg and you might only guess at the things below.

Look at a map – can you see the whole town? And even if you have lived there for long, can you say you know it? When do you know something? Can you say: I know what spoiled their marriage? – No, you can say none of this, as you might know only the surface. And when you think: “Oh, now I really see it, now it is unveiled and clear” – this is the very moment when the captain spots the tip of the iceberg. However, he knows that the unseen part is about 9 times bigger… Einstein said: “The more I learn, the more I recognise how little I know, and the more I recognise how little I know the more I want to learn”. This humble confession of a great scientist challenges us to be more careful about conclusions and our final judgements deriving from our perception.
 
What makes me cocksure?…
What else can be there that I cannot see?…
What else can be seen for the others?…
What can’t I see in myself?…
What kind of remarks and statements does my conscious mind send (e.g. George promised to call me but he didn’t.) … what do I attach to it? (e.g. of course, I cannot be so important for him… or: everything else is more important for him)…
…What else can the items on your list mean?…
… Write 10 different, new possibilities for each!…
… Now look at how much chance you give to the 10 other opportunities?…
… Now look at that self of yours who judged the previous chances before and say: “You cannot know either what the Reality is!”
 
 
9.        Do not detract but add; do not lessen but enhance; do not ruin but create.
 
We have needs and demands. Some are satisfied and then new ones come. If they are not satisfied you feel lack and then you start to think that it can be eased in only one way. Instead of the aim of the satisfaction of your needs you start to insist on the “how” in a stubborn way. Maybe you do so because you got used to doing so, or maybe this is the only way to try now, but either way, the point is that your mind clings to something in its own fashion. “It can be done just this way.” “Our family always does it.” “He, who is not like this, cannot belong to us.” “It is impossible for me to live without that”… Put your toolset under the microscope to see what are there and what else you need: ignite your ideas, take your creativity. Instead of “why it cannot be done” ask: “how can it be”! And keep itin mind: even if there is only one person in the world who could achieve something it gives potential access and a model to the other 7 billion people!
 
When do you say: “I cannot do this?”… (Gather at least 6 items)
… Now, take the next 5 words and examine where you put a stress on them:
… “I”  can’t do – But the others?… Who can?… How do they do it?…
… “cannot” – Why are you not able? … Are you stopped?… How come?…
…” do”… – the problem is the activity itself?… What very similar activity can you do?… What part of it can you do well?
 … what is the thing you used to think was impossible to learn and you would be incapable to perform, and then you acquired it very quickly?
…what motivated you?…
… how could you overwrite the “mission impossible program”?…
this – this, might be too big  for you, but for example perhaps practising the details would work?…
… if “this” is too hard, what about “that”?… what else could you do instead?
Now, look at the “impossibilities” on your list: and decide what “impossible” item will you start doing and how?

peliculas de comedia